Its The Weekend! Why Don’t You… Up Your Sexting Game

Posted by Rachel Hangover in Weekend Why Don't You

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In the digital world we live in, texting has become not only a necessity, but an art form.  In the digital dating world, sexting is no less a necessity, and if you’re not treating it like an art form, you’re doing it wrong.  Its fun, its easy, and it will get your guy so eager to get his hands on you that there will be no time for all that pesky ‘how was your day’ stuff.  And nothing makes a man more crazy than knowing that you’re thinking naughty thoughts about him while he is not with you.

I was in a long distance relationship for a while, so sexting became a major form of communication for us.  Thus, I consider myself somewhat of an expert.  The way I see it, there are three main forms of sexting, and you should master them all.

First, there is the BLUNT TEXT.  This is when you either, A) change the conversation to naughtiness, like so: shutupor B) when you start of the conversation by getting right down to it, like so: waking moment (The last one works best when they are just waking up or getting off work.)

Next, there is simple WORD PLAY…

This can be either a play by play of the imaginary action in a ‘my hand is on your butt’ way, or, if you have plans to see each other, in  ‘I can’t wait to…’ form, like so: corny … problem with this one is it can get really corny, really fast.  Sometimes though, especially in a long distance situation, its necessary. A different guy I’m (fuck)friends with used to get really bored while he was at work.  We would play a very simple word association game, like so: sexting6It could go on…sexting7And on…

sext5And on and on and on and on (I’ll spare you the actual texts) until eventually someone got too frustrated and called it quits:

sext1You can bet the minute he got off work, he had exactly one thing on his mind.

The last form of sexting is of course SEXY PICS.  As my girl Liz said, you should always have some sexy pics ready in case you’re in sweat pants when your lover boy comes a-texting.  But THINK BEFORE YOU HIT SEND – do you want these pics on the internet?  You never know when someone might lose their phone or just decide to fuck with you.  Ask yourself if you are okay with the whole world seeing what you are about to send.  And DO NOT TRUST SNAPCHAT.  That shit does not disappear…  don’t be fooled.  Finally, don’t ever feel pressured to send anything when you’re just not feeling it.  Sexting is just like actual sex – you both have to be in the mood.  Case in point: clippersNow, get on with it, then.  Happy sexting, bitches!

One comment

  1. Buck

    In the words of Larry Miller: “someday… I’m gonna marry that girl!”

    Great post.

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