Rule #61: Know the Difference Between LITTLE BOYS vs REAL MEN

Posted by Rachel Hangover in Boys, cougars, men

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A while back I wrote an article titled ‘Know the Difference Between Fuckable vs Dateable’. I stand by everything I wrote in that article, but I’d like to amend it. That is because recently, a Little Boy attempted to date me. And I got very confused. Despite his young age, he fit all of my criteria for dating, not just fucking. And he played it like he was trying to be my full time daddy, not just a fun time (which I would have been totally down for). But I quickly realized that he is not dateable. He is no longer even fuckable, because he is just a Little Boy.

Even if you are fucking for fucks sake, as in, you have no intention of actually dating the person you’re banging, you should still be fucking a REAL MAN, not a Little Boy. I used to love fucking little boys…. (wait. oops! DON’T CALL CHILD SERVICES! I of course mean over 18 years little boys) …because that’s all they’re good for. But now that I’m in my thirties, ain’t nobody got time fo that.

You see, age has nothing to do with it. Young twenty-something studs can be REAL MEN and some dudes in their thirties and beyond are still little boys. Since it can be difficult to know the difference, let me break it down for you:

REAL MEN DON’T LIE
because they don’t need to. If you’re not the only chick they are fucking, they will tell you straight up. Real Men don’t have the time or energy to lie and even if they did, a real man knows he’ll get respect, not just pussy, if he’s honest. So of course,

REAL MEN DON’T PLAY GAMES
because they don’t need to. Real Men say what they mean and do what they say they will do. They don’t keep you waiting; they value your time as much as their own. And they don’t try to fuck with your head or your heart because

REAL MEN RESPECT WOMEN
as much as they respect themselves. Real Men view women as equals, not objects. And last but definitely not least,

REAL MEN EAT PUSSY
and they fucking love it. And they don’t give one single fuck if it’s bushed, bristly, bald, or bleeding. A Real Man will pull your tampon out with his teeth because a Real Man has tasted blood before and he ain’t scared of it. A Real Man doesn’t put the pussy on a pedestal, he puts it in his mouth where it belongs.

(If you still don’t know how – for FUCK’S SAKE LEARN!!! – Read THIS! )

4 comments

  1. Anonymous

    I love you!

  2. Rachel Hangover

    I love you too, Anonymous!

  3. Adam

    Uhh. Yeah I totally eat pussy. And I actually appreciate a woman who has a bush. That said… male or female… no one likes hair in their mouth. You don’t have to take a torch to it, but trimming the hedges around your honey well makes the loving go down smoother. I don’t think that makes me less of a man.

    Adam
    Co-host of the MHOG Podcast

  4. Aj

    For the love of God. I would never tell a woman how to be a real woman. That would be deemed sexist and misogyny on my part. If all it takes to be a man are those for rules according to the self-entitled princess writing this, then you’ve definitely boosted my confidence up. Minus the blood and hairy snatch thing. Sure we’ll endure it but don’t have to enjoy it. You don’t see men saying to women. “Oh, it’s just piss, be a real woman”.
    I think your full of shit, cause it’s always been about confidence and the exterior they possess. I’ve seen guys who are full of confidence but very good liars and also guys with little confidence but great integrity and virtue…and am sorry to say the first bunch always win.
    I think men would understand the type of men out there better than women, even if we are little boys or whatever.
    I understand you don’t have to accept anything you don’t want but just because it or they don’t suit you needs, there’s no need to insult them by calling them little boys and being almost dismissive like it’s a rotten apple. A lot of what you say in your blogs can be very hurtful. I’ve comes across it recently after coming across your pretty juvenile, shitty television show.

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