Rule #63: Never Confuse a Fuckbuddy with a Snugglebuddy

Posted by Rachel Hangover in RULE, Uncategorized

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snuggle

A couple weeks back, on a lazy weekday evening, I was lying in my bed, feeling bored. I was watching Amy Schumer episodes and my insatiable appetite for carbs told me I would bleed in a few days. I suddenly had an overwhelming desire for company. I wanted snuggles. Cuddles. Some rubbin’ and some lovin’. Obviously this was not something I could call the rockstar in for, so I opted to reach out to a young pretty boy actor who I’d recently befriended and befucked. We were day drinking when we met; it turned into night drinking. It turned into going back to my place and having good sex several times. And then it turned into nuzzling and cuddling until we both fell asleep. And that was really all I wanted. The nuzzling and cuddling. But if I had to have some sex to get it, well so be it.

I texted him and he said he was busy, but would hit me up in a bit. A few hours went by, and he said he was still in the middle of stuff, but he could swing by later. Cool. A few more hours went by, and he said he’d be over soon. By now it was getting very late. When he finally arrived, he couldn’t figure out how to buzz himself into my apartment. I should’ve known something was up then, but I went to the front door to let him in. The door swung open to reveal him grinning at me sheepishly. “I’m SOOO drunk!”, He announced. Greeeeaat. I was completely sober and just wanted some damn snuggles.

So we proceeded to have really bad, fumbly, awkward sex. If you have to say to a girl, more than once, “it’s hard enough”, no, honey. It’s not. I would have been better off calling a platonic friend and snuggling up and watching a movie. But if anything, I blame myself. Because I wasn’t clear about what I wanted. You can never ever expect a man to know what you want; especially the young pups. You have to tell them. I shouldn’t have thought a guy I’ve never had anything but drunken sex with to have any idea that I wanted anything other than that. So I take the blame for this less than stellar experience and I was eager to give this pretty young thing a chance to redeem himself. He was very apologetic and is aware that he ‘made the blog’ in a negative way and from what I understand he has quit drinking. Awesome. I’m super stoked that I helped someone decide to make healthier choices. Something new and different for me. And I ended up being the first girl with whom he had sober sex. Ever. Something new and different for him. Yay for positive changes!

You have to always remember to be very up front about what your needs and desires are, with any partner, sexual or otherwise.  Why waste your time and/or end up getting frustrated when you can just be honest?  My experience with Pretty Young Thing just reiterated that no matter how well you know someone, if you’re being ‘intimate’ with them, then get intimate instead of getting disappointed.  I’m just happy we both ended up getting something that we needed and wanted.  Cheers to that.  Now excuse me while I go snuggle the shit out of someone.  You should too.

2 comments

  1. Anonymous

    yuck

  2. Respectfully anonymous

    This blog is amazing. I think you are exemplifying 4th wave feminism, if there is such a thing. I am impressed, and grateful, and I thank you for being a role model who has the courage to display her real self.

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