Rule #64: Suck Harder

Posted by The Girl's Guide to Depravity in advice, blowjobs, sex

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They say blowjobs are like pizza, even if they’re bad, they’re still good. But “they” have never gagged on an errant hair and ended up puking all over their partner.  Besides, why settle for giving a “good” blowjob when you can give a fucking fantastic one?

I usually hate giving BJ tips because it’s all subjective. What makes one guy shoot off like a rocket may leave another guy with failure to launch. However, there are a few things that will make any guy fall to his knees … in order to return the favor with some head for you! Because isn’t that really what it’s all about?

1) Fucking ENTHUSIASM! Go to town like a diabetic with a lolly and no matter how much teeth you accidentally use, you’ll still be a champ. There’s no bigger turn off than a girl who’s choking on a dick every five seconds. Except for a girl who refuses to choke on a dick at all.

2) Not every guy likes a finger up the ass, but they all like a little pressure above their treasure trail. Press down with an open palm just above the dick, make eye contact (if their eyes are even still open then) and slurp away.

3) Take your time! I know, ugh, it’s already hard work, why would you want to make it last ten minutes when you could make him cum in ten seconds? But most guys like to savor a bj, cuz they never know when they’ll get one again.

Happy blowing!

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