Currently browsing Posts Tagged “booty call”

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Rule # 58: Just Because He’s Paying For Dinner Doesn’t Mean You’re Not A Booty Call

Posted by The Girl's Guide to Depravity in fuck, men, sex

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Up until my mid-twenties, it was pretty easy to draw the line between a guy who had boyfriend potential versus a guy you’d bang at 2am after drinking too much tequila. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found it trickier to determine whether a guy is serious about me or simply using me for sex.

To me, there’s three types of guys: a fuck buddy, a guy you date non-exclusively (that is, until someone decides to end it or stop seeing other people), and a committed boyfriend. Fuck buddies don’t always snuggle with you or spend the night, and you seldom have to worry about who’s paying for dinner, because the only thing you’re eating is each other’s genitals. At the opposite end of the spectrum, guys who want to settle down let you know you’re the only one they’re sleeping with, so the real grey area is the guys you’re dating.

Dating can encompass everything from being a fuck buddy to being close to settling down, and if a guy thinks there’s a chance he might like you as something more than a piece of ass, he’ll put in a minimal amount of effort until he figures out what he wants. And even if he finds that he only wants to fuck around, he will still take you out to dinner if he knows it’s a surefire way to get in your pants. If he knows he can get away with booty calling you at midnight, he’ll do it, but as we get older, we’re willing to put up with far less shit, so as a result, guys are willing to do more shit to make us believe that they’re not total scumbags.

Rule #57: A Guy Worth Fucking is Not Easily Fucked With

Posted by The Girl's Guide to Depravity in Rules

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Ladies (and this rule applies to dudes as well), I know sometimes it’s fun to play the game.  To flirt, tease, neg, send him sexy snaps when you have no intention of following through.  But a guy worth fucking is not easily fucked with.

Case in point: D was my co-worker.  Rather, he was my co-worker’s assistant.  Super-hot, super-eager, super-young.  He flirted with me shamelessly but he was practically still a kid and my fuck card was filled at the time.  I treated him worse than a toy.  I treated him like a toy poodle.  But no matter what I did, he was still down.

One night when my fuck buddy flaked on me, I booty-texted my little puppy and told him I was coming over that night to finally seal the deal.  But I ended up going home with a rando from the bar instead.

The next day, he was still totally friendly, but the flirtatiousness had been shut down.  Completely.  No amount of snatchchats brought his interest back.  A few weeks later my co-worker (and his boss) ended up fucking him and said his cock, his technique, his attentiveness was an 11.  All these years later she’s still ruined for other peen because his is the dick she measures all other dicks by.  And no other guy has come close.  Sigh.