In this edition of “Ask a Depraved Bitch,” a reader wants to know if it’s cool to deja-fuck your ex.
So, here’s the problem: I’ve been fucking my ex, the very same asshole that broke my heart and dumped me two days before Christmas (after three years of going back and forth.)
Skipping the “he loves me, he loves me not” bullshit, basically I’m still fucking him. I still have the keys to his house, I still spend weekends with my daughter at his place…I’ll even go and do his dishes or laundry while hes at work… what the fuck is wrong with me?! He is a douchebag! He’s selfish insensitive and cruel…but the sex is amazing and hes got this way of making me feel needed…
So my friend is soo fed up with my shit and set me up with a long time friend of hers who is a really nice, sweet gentleman… buuut I still want to fuck my ex.
My question(s) are: Do I have to tell either or both if them what’s going on? And should I still even be fucking my ex? Is this a sign he still wants to be with me or am I just his fuck-buddy?
Sincerely, a Desperate and Depressingly Depraved Dip-Shit.
While ex-sex is always complicated (my last deja-fuck turned into a deja-relationship that ended up as a deja-breakup), you absolutely do not have to tell this new guy about the other dicks you’ve been fucking. Nor do you have to disclose anything about Mr. Nice Guy (who, frankly, sounds like a pussy) to your fuck buddy.
You’re not explicitly exclusive to either of them, so get your freak on while you can. Just make sure you keep your distance with your ex — no sleepovers, no weekend hangs with your daughter and no doing his dishes … Unless you’re doing them naked in 4-inch stilettoes while he watches with a hard-on.