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Rule #57: A Guy Worth Fucking is Not Easily Fucked With

Posted by The Girl's Guide to Depravity in Rules

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Ladies (and this rule applies to dudes as well), I know sometimes it’s fun to play the game.  To flirt, tease, neg, send him sexy snaps when you have no intention of following through.  But a guy worth fucking is not easily fucked with.

Case in point: D was my co-worker.  Rather, he was my co-worker’s assistant.  Super-hot, super-eager, super-young.  He flirted with me shamelessly but he was practically still a kid and my fuck card was filled at the time.  I treated him worse than a toy.  I treated him like a toy poodle.  But no matter what I did, he was still down.

One night when my fuck buddy flaked on me, I booty-texted my little puppy and told him I was coming over that night to finally seal the deal.  But I ended up going home with a rando from the bar instead.

The next day, he was still totally friendly, but the flirtatiousness had been shut down.  Completely.  No amount of snatchchats brought his interest back.  A few weeks later my co-worker (and his boss) ended up fucking him and said his cock, his technique, his attentiveness was an 11.  All these years later she’s still ruined for other peen because his is the dick she measures all other dicks by.  And no other guy has come close.  Sigh.

“Should I Still be F*cking My Ex?”

Posted by The Girl's Guide to Depravity in Ask a Depraved Bitch

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In this edition of “Ask a Depraved Bitch,” a reader wants to know if it’s cool to deja-fuck your ex.

So, here’s the problem: I’ve been fucking my ex, the very same asshole that broke my heart and dumped me two days before Christmas (after three years of going back and forth.)

Skipping the “he loves me, he loves me not” bullshit, basically I’m still fucking him.  I still have the keys to his house, I still spend weekends with my daughter at his place…I’ll even go and do his dishes or laundry while hes at work… what the fuck is wrong with me?! He is a douchebag! He’s selfish insensitive and cruel…but the sex is amazing and hes got this way of making me feel needed…

So my friend is soo fed up with my shit and set me up with a long time friend of hers who is a really nice, sweet gentleman… buuut I still want to fuck my ex.

My question(s) are: Do I have to tell either or both if them what’s going on? And should I still even be fucking my ex? Is this a sign he still wants to be with me or am I just his fuck-buddy?

Sincerely, a Desperate and Depressingly Depraved Dip-Shit.

Dear DDDD:

While ex-sex is always complicated (my last deja-fuck turned into a deja-relationship that ended up as a deja-breakup), you absolutely do not have to tell this new guy about the other dicks you’ve been fucking.  Nor do you have to disclose anything about Mr. Nice Guy (who, frankly, sounds like a pussy) to your fuck buddy.

You’re not explicitly exclusive to either of them, so get your freak on while you can.  Just make sure you keep your distance with your ex — no sleepovers, no weekend hangs with your daughter and no doing his dishes … Unless you’re doing them naked in 4-inch stilettoes while he watches with a hard-on.