Currently browsing Posts Tagged “fuckable”

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Rule #60: Know The Difference Between FUCKABLE vs DATEABLE

Posted by Rachel Hangover in sex

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Not all Goslings are created equal.

Not all Goslings are created equal.

Ladies, ladies, ladies.  It is time for us, as women, to figure out something that men have known forever: just because someone isn’t your ideal mate doesn’t mean you shouldn’t fuck his brains out whenever you want to.  You just need to differentiate between who is worthy of your time, energy, love, and commitment, and who is worthy of just your pussy.  I’ve seen so many of my girlfriends get their hearts broken because they didn’t know this very simple rule.

Now, while everyone is different, the main thing to think about is the criteria you need met.  For me personally, if a dude is dateable he must meet all of the following criteria:

1.  He is attractive and leads a healthy lifestyle

2.  He has a good job where he is successful or making the world a better place

3.  He has a good relationship with his family/friends and compatibility with mine

4.  He’s smart, funny, compassionate and shares my political, social, and spiritual views.

For a guy to be fuckable, he has to meet the following criteria:

1.  He’s hot

2.  His dick works.

(And in fact, I can be lenient with the second one.  I was “fucking” a little rockstar at one point whose nasty little coke problem made it impossible for him to get it up no matter how hard we both tried.  However, his enthusiasm and skill when it came to cunnilingus made that a moot point.   *sigh*  I miss that guy.)

So many women are out looking for The Perfect Man, that they blow off a perfectly good Fuckable Man.  They are pining away, waiting for an imaginary ideal, using up the batteries in their vibrators, dreaming of Mr. Right when they could be getting their ass pounded to the wall by Mr. Right Now.  What a fucking waste.  What should be happening instead, is that women take advantage of a good/easy/convenient fuck while still on the lookout for the guy who has it all.  MEN DO THIS WITH EVERY GIRL THEY MEET.  We need to learn it, love it, live it, NOW.

The problem is that a lot of women have trouble separating sex and emotions.  GET OVER IT.  Don’t ALLOW emotions to get involved until they evolve naturally.  If he’s not the perfect man for you, why in the fuck would you waste your emotional energy wondering how he thinks of or feels for you?  Why would you want or expect a man to start a relationship with you when you barely know him and he barely knows you?

Of course, most men fall somewhere in between The Perfect Man and a Human Dildo and sometimes things can get confusing.  I’ve fallen for fuck buddies and I’ve realized a guy I thought was perfect on paper was nothing but a dick.  When this happens, separate yourself from him immediately and give yourself a little time.  Find out what you both want.  If you caught feelings and he doesn’t feel the same way, GET OUT IMMEDIATELY.  And if the opposite is true, break it off with him.  Its only fair.

Since most of the men you meet aren’t going to meet your criteria for boyfriend material, have fun and keep it casual.  Don’t let a good dick go to waste.  Don’t get caught up in the feels until you’re sure its something real.  Get some good lovin’ while the gettin’ is good because nothing makes you look hotter than being a confident woman who is obviously gettin’ some.  And all that sexy afterglow might just attract the one you’ve been waiting for.

How to Dress to Get Laid

Posted by The Girl's Guide to Depravity in How-To

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dresstogetlaid

Girls, time to ditch the push-up bra and trying-too-hard slut dress.   I live in Los Angeles, where things are decidedly more cazh, but I’ve found the outfit that makes me the most fuckable is a great pair of jeans and a tank that shows a generous amount of side boob, front boob, top boob or underboob.

Now, it’s not easy to find the perfect pair of jeans that makes my ass look perkier than a just-picked peach.  But Friday night I wore a pair from my friend’s new denim line, Schoen by Yu, (I was poured into The Ingenue, pictured above) and when I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, the BF practically tore them off me, then tore into me.  I hadn’t felt his dick that hard since the new Star Wars movies were announced.  When we finished, I vowed then and there that the only time I would take off my favorite new pair of jeans would be sexy time.

And you can’t go wrong with a simple American Apparel tank over a lace bra.  My go-to is this tri-blend racer tank (I like to size up for ultimate side-boob action.)

P.S. If you want these amazing jeans at half the price, make a pledge on the official Schoen by Yu Kickstarter page!