I was having a girls night with one of my favorite bad bitches recently and she was regaling me with stories of an ex-lover (and current douchebag) who just so happens to be a professional baseball player. Later in the night she made comments about two other baseball players. I picked up on it and said, “Wow. You fuck a lot of baseball players.”
She responded with: “Well, obviously I revenge fucked two of his teammates.” I died. Now, while this is hilarious, it is NOT practical. Fucking his friends is ALWAYS a bad idea. And why? Because it doesn’t get you anything, except fucked. If getting fucked is your one and only goal, then go for it! But know that you’re losing something while gaining that possible orgasm: respect.
You see, if a man has done you wrong, that means he didn’t respect you enough to treat you correctly. He is definitely not going to start respecting you if you start banging his friends. You are only succeeding in making yourself look cheap and petty. His friends that are fucking you most certainly don’t respect you either. You are easy. You are damaged. Bros before hos, especially those who come back for sloppy seconds and thirds.
So, if you need to get your rocks off after a break up, I say pick a random or go to a trusted fuck buddy. Stay away from his friends and keep your dignity intact. Because even if you didn’t get ‘revenge’, you can still hold your head up high knowing you were the bigger person. And always remember how to be a boss bitch: Keep it sexy, keep it safe, and keep it classy. The best revenge is looking good and scoring someone better anyway.
“Rachel Hangover” is a writer/actress/drinker/leo. She loves making pictures, telling stories and singing whenever she thinks she is alone. Sometimes she gets drunk and says mean things, but she’s working on it, okay? Sheesh. You can follow her on Twitter, friend her on Facebook or stalk her on IMDB.