When is it Ok to Cancel the P*ssy Contract?

Posted by The Girl's Guide to Depravity in pussy contract


If you’re a guy, you probably think “never” but ladies, there are some several valid reasons for pulling out of a verbal or implied agreement to knock boots.

1. Surprise body hair.

I once drove over 20 miles for a booty call, only to puss out on the cock once he pulled off his shirt and his body hair literally popped out like a can of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls.

2. He doesn’t know how to eat the puss.

If you’re in stage 3 foreplay and the guy goes down like a dog licking peanut butter (i.e. sloppy and all over the place) it might be a preview of what he’s gonna do with his peen. It’s totally acceptable to get the fuck out of there before you spend the night having bad sex when your perfectly orgasmic vibrator is waiting for you at home.

3. You just fucking changed your mind.

Let’s face it, cuntinis, we ARE women and we like to change our mind a gazillion times about what pair of shoes we’re wearing out — and those just go on our feet. Like my friend, Special K (yes, her) you may have found yourself feeling like you want to make a fuck out of a friend, until you get back to your place and it’s all weird and shit. She cancelled the contract that night, but then had second thoughts. Sure, she’s the one who aborted the fuck mission, but for all he knows she was bleeding out of her vag more than Charlie Sheen’s nose after a bender. She texted him the next day but he never returned … guess some guys just can’t take rejection, even if it is temporary.

One comment

  1. Anonymous

    That is absolutely true, guys (I am one) need to CTFO when it comes to "rejection" or they foreclose a lot of potential for fun before it even starts.

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