I may spend $200 bucks on denim that makes a guy think of nothing but getting in my back door when he sees how great they make my ass look, but there are only three explanations for a man wearing designer denim:
1. He’s gay.
2. He’s Persian/Russian/Italian/Armenian (insert your ethnic stereotype here).
3. He’s bad in bed.
I once went out with a guy who was wearing the trifecta of over-compensation: True Religion Jeans, Uggs and diamond studs in his ears.
I should have known better but I was horny, he was otherwise hot and my vibe was on the fritz. So I fucked him.
Correction — I sat on top of him for two pumps before he showed me an O-face uglier than the one your dog makes when he’s taking a shit.
And I’m not the only one who’s gotten fucked when she wanted to get screwed by a guy in designer denim. My friend T is particularly adept at attracting guys who sport girl-butt and it never works out for her. Usually all they want from her is a bj (she’s got amazing cock-sucking lips) but when she insists on doing the do, she either gets a guy with a tiny peen, a two-pump chump, or someone who can’t get off without a finger or a fist up his ass.
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