After about a month and a half of dating, I finally decided it was time to have “the talk” with my now-boyfriend. I told him we needed to have a conversation and he gave me that look, you know, like I was about to take him to the vet to be neutered.
“I can’t hold it in any longer,” I told him.
“I think it’s time we farted in front of each other.”
“Like, right now?” he asked. ”Yes, be a gentleman and do it first,” I said.
“But I don’t have any gas.”
“Try.”
So he stood in front of me, ass out, cheeks spread, and pushed and pushed and pushed. His face started turning red, but no fart. Then suddenly, mid-push, he got this mortified look on his face and turned to run into the bathroom: he shit his pants.
I laughed so hard, I farted.
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