Magic Berry = Magic Spoodge Sweetener

(I was cleaning out my pantry and found my Magic Berry tablets.  Since I had so much fun conducting experiments with them then — and now –  I decided to re-post this from the old blog in the name of science … and sluttiness.)

Where have I been that I never heard about such an amazing fruit called a “Magic Berry” that turn anything sour into sweet? So when a friend first told me about magic berries, obviously, my first thought was how could I use this for evil instead of good? My second thought was: Dick.

You’re supposed to take a bite (or in this case, pop a pill because I’m all about the dolls) and suck on a lemon, just to see how sweet it turns the tart fruit, but of course I want to pop one and suck on a dick.

It’s not as if my boyfriend’s got the funkiest tasting spunk, but no matter how many pineapples he eats, he just isn’t gonna jizz honey.

Well, at least not until now. The other night I dissolved one of these babies on the tip of my tongue, letting it tingle my buds before I got on my knees and got to work.

Now, lemme explain that he had in fact eaten a half a pineapple before we began our little experiment, because it apparently only supresses your savory and bitter taste buds, leaving your sweet buds to work in overtime. It doesn’t work if there isn’t even a tiny bit of sugar.

So I sucked away and the minute he blew his load, I rolled it around in my mouth as if it were a fine wine. And Oh. My. God. if it didn’t taste the slightest bit sweet. Not like I was eating creme brulee or anything, but certainly not as sour and salty as usual.

Now, I’m a slut with sugar issues (aka I can’t have it) so any hint of sweet gets me off. Therefore, I predict a lot of bjs in my bf’s future thanks to the magic fruit.

But it wasn’t allllllll about the dong, I also licked a lemon which turned into sugary lemonade, bit into an orange that tasted like orange sherbet, but what was by far my favorite transformation of the evening was the cucumber (are you surprised?). It had such a delicate sweetness I could have munched on it all night!

Well, that and my boyfriend’s schlong!