Some girls like to hang out with a pack of ugly chicks just so they can appear more attractive. But a depraved girl knows how to successfully ride the coattails of a hot friend all the way into a cute guy’s bed.
When you’re on a mission to get laid and your wing woman jumps into your car rocking an adorable mini and new platform stilettos that shows off her tanned and toned legs, your first instinct may be to “accidentally” dump this morning’s Starbucks into her lap so she’ll have to go inside and change, but girls, resist the urge. A hot friend can actually help you instead of hinder you when it comes to attracting hot guys.
When I was desperate, horny and hadn’t been laid in like two months, I convinced my friend M to come out with me to the place where the drinks were cheap and the guys were young and dumb, hoping for a hot one-night-stand. M. is a girl who normally wears minimal makeup and lives in jeans, so I was shocked when she exited her apartment wearing an outfit that even made me cream. Turns out she just finished a work event and hadn’t had time to change. Did I insist she go back inside and put on her hipster uniform of skinnies and Converse? No way. I knew her sexy look would just be another weapon in my arsenal.
We rolled over to Cabo Cantina and as soon as we walked in, every head in the place turned and looked her way. If I wasn’t determined to blow my load that night, I might have been jealous. But as we all know, the cute ones travel in packs, so any solo guy who tried to approach my friend, I’d just casually whisper in his ear, “She’s a he,” and he’d turn right around and go back to the bottled blonde he was talking to before.
Finally I spotted a pair of cute ones and pushed M in their direction. Literally pushed her, so their $2 dollar beers spilled all over them AND her. (Remember, it’s not about how you get his attention, it’s about how you keep it.) Well, her unintentional wet t-shirt contest imitation certainly got their attention! After we insisted on buying a pitcher to make up for the spilled beer, it finally became obvious which one she was more into and which one I would become sloppy seconds. Luckily, if his friend was a 10 on the looks scale (and about a 3 in the intelligence dept.) his friend was about an 8/5, which is not a bad ratio.
I may not have ditched my girl because she was “the hot one” but I certainly ditched her as soon as it was obvious my 8 was DTF. He took me back to his cramped one-bedroom he shared off of Sunset and his seconds got sloppy all over him.
Thanks, M!
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