Rule #50: Revenge is a Dish Best Served F*cked

Posted by Heather in Rules

Hell hath no fury like a woman fucked over by her boyfriend.  But girls, if he’s fucking around on you, there’s only one thing to do: fuck him back.  And not with your vag.

I have a friend who found out her boyfriend was cheating on her at a nearby hotel with a 21-year-old, so she called the cops, claimed to be the guy’s sex addicts anonymous sponsor and that he called because he was about to butt fuck an underage prostitute.  She was concerned for his health and safety, she said.

Boy, was he surprised when he got a knock on the door from the po po.  But since no money changed hands, they couldn’t arrest him.

He came home the next morning to a big “Yard Sale” sign on his front lawn where my friend (and his very recent ex) was selling all his worldly possessions: (his clothes, a Jaeger LeCoultre watch, a signed Picasso lithograph, his vintage comic collection) all for the low, low, low price of 99 cents each.

He got fucked twice that day.

2 comments

  1. Rachel Lincroft

    Cute story… But in the real world, having a temper tantrum and spitefully seeking “revenge”, instead of just getting on with your life, makes you look like a spoiled child.
    But more to the point, falsely reporting a crime to the Police will not be looked upon kindly, by either the Cops, or the Court. (Especially when you explain why you did it.)
    Selling off all your ex’s personal property sounds funny, but under the Law, selling things that don’t belong to you is called “theft”. So again, look forward to fun times with the Police and the Criminal Court.
    Plan too, to explain to the Civil Court Judge why you’re not responsible when you’re sued for the value of your ex’s property.
    So at the end of the day, you have two criminal convictions on your record, along with fines and legal expenses, hours of Community Service, and maybe some jail time. And they’ve garnered your wages to pay back your ex.
    Yeah, you sure fucked “him” twice!

  2. Chris

    In addition to being illegal, its also obviously fake. No one who owns a JLG would be having sex with a 21 year old in a nearby motel. And how does someone find out their significant other is currently fucking a 21 year old somewhere (well, perhaps by having access to his emails). Anyway, cute story, but just a bit of revenge fantasy.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will never be published or shared. Required fields are marked with an asterisk (*).