You've heard it a million times before: "Go hard or go home."
Well, the same rule that applies to bong hits, high school football and orgies also applies to bitchery.
I'm not saying you should go out there and be cunty to everyone who crosses your peep-toe booties, but if you are going to be a bitch, might as well be queen bitch.
Last week I went to see a friend's band play at The Hotel Cafe with one of my girlfriends. We were standing at the bar with our vodka tonics in hand as we waited for the show to start when a curvy girl squeezed in next to us. She was rocking this Pucci-esque mini-dress that we were admiring so my friend asked her where she got it. She looked my friend up and down before she said "I'm not telling you."
Bitch!
We were too shocked to respond then and there with a bitch slap before she got her drink and went to sit down at a table, but I wasn't gonna let her get away with that. I was going to be the bigger bitch.
I asked the bartender if I could borrow a pair of scissors, then I walked over to the curvy girl (who was sitting with her back to me), grabbed her dress tag, yanked it as far away from her as I could and then snipped. As my friend clapped for me at the bar, I triumphantly held the tag over my head. You should have seen that bitch's face. She looked mortified.
That's when I read the label: "LANE BRYANT"
Suddenly I understood why she didn't want to tell us where she got the dress. She didn't want to admit she shopped at the big girl store.
Well, I had definitely won the mega bitch crown that night, but I could also be the bigger bitch. I walked back over to the bar, shoving the tag in my pocket.
"So? Where was the dress from," my girlfriend asked.
"BCBG," I answered.
8 comments:
your blog is great!
http://jessicadruck.blogspot.com
Thanks, Jessica! I like yours as well!
Epic!
Why can't bitches just get along?
this post makes me miss my megabitch.
*sighs* :-(
LOVES.
The only thing worse than a cunty bitch is a fat cunty bitch.
Awesome! You rock girl!
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