Thursday, February 4, 2010

How To Tell If A Guy Will Be Good At Going Down


image via sex is funny


There are some times when you're single and horny, and your Jimmy Jane vibe just won't do. You want satisfaction, but just can't handle the thought of dealing with a new guy's dick cheese. Cunnilingus is your only answer.

But how can you tell that some guy you just met will be good at going down? Guys have the DSL indicator (Dick Sucking Lips, not Digital Subscriber Line), but what have we girls got?

Well, you're in luck my horny whores, because I've put together a list of tell-tale signs that may clue you into an expert vag snacker:

1) He orders his ice cream in cone instead of a cup. Clearly, this guy likes to lick.

2) He's metrosexual. If a guy spends 3 hours on his hair, imagine how much time he'll spend down there!

3) He's a slow driver. If he's a guy who isn't afraid to stop and take his cues from others, chances are he'll be good at following orders.

4) He's overweight. Guys with food issues take their eating (out) very seriously.

5) It takes him more than three licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Just think how long he'll take getting to your gooey center!

6) Tell him he has something on his eyebrow. If he licks it off, you're good to go.

Have you got a good indicator that a guy (or a girl!) would be good at going down? Post it in the comments below!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're good to go if he can lick his own balls and loves peanut butter.

Anonymous said...

"2) He's metrosexual. If a guy spends 3 hours on his hair, imagine how much time he'll spend down there!" -> totally agree

3) He's a slow driver. If he's a guy who isn't afraid to stop and take his cues from others, chances are he'll be good at following orders. -> totally agree

I'd add one: he's a nerd. Not the dorky type, sure, but the curious one. Believe me. Reading about cunnilingus can do wonders for when one actually gives one.

I know about it, I gave my GF multiple orgasms the first time we did it. And I was still a virgin!

She could only say: Damn, whomever taught you, thought you right...

Heather said...

Ahh, yes, the "Revenge of the Nerds" theory. Nice one!

Anonymous said...

Guys that are nice and more attentive may be a good sign. They are more likely to want to please their women.

Anonymous said...

If he has a seriously underdeveloped dick, and I mean vestigial, he's most likely compensated by developing other skills.
From experience, I don't agree with the nerd point.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the nerd point.

The nerds are so curious that they wanna know all your anatomy. Just give him some lessons!

Anonymous said...

Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex.

-Revenge of the Nerds

Anonymous said...

never noticed the connection! i drive like old people ridden with cataracts on a sunday road cruise! :P

Anonymous said...

Yes, nice guys are more attentive and better at taking direction from her. Loud boisterous dudes are more selfish.

Canarioca said...

In Brazil its all about how they eat a fresh cut mango....

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