Meet Elisabeth, January's Depraved Girl of the Month. (It's a new feature I'm trying out to exploit -- um, I mean highlight my fellow dirty girls. Ya like?)
AGE: 26
AREA OF SLUTSPERTISE: Cyber-Slut
"I agree with what Rihanna said..."If you aren't sending your boyfriend naked pictures I feel bad for him..." or something to that effect. We are part of the digital revolution, so sending XXX texts, dirty pictures and video chatting naked are all part of flirting these days. As long as you're smart about cropping your face out or covering up certain parts, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Sure, it's a little embarrassing if it gets out, but just make sure you look hot and don't do anything TOO pornoriffic, and there's no shame in that."
WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT LAID?
"On my birthday, which was nearly two months ago. It wasn't a love making session, and I wasn't obsessed with him, but when he left later that evening, there was a Magnum wrapper in my bathroom trash can and a glow on my face that you can't get from the makeup counter."
WHAT'S THE MOST DEPRAVED THING YOU'VE EVER DONE TO GET A GUY?
"When I was in college, there was this hottie who I always saw at the gym. 6'4", a Mark Wahlberg-y face with baby blues and eyelashes almost as long as mine, and he had a sick body. I had heard rumors that he was a well endowed man whore (definitely my type), so naturally I was very intrigued. He was friends with some of my friends' friends, but this was pre-Facebook and I knew getting his phone number and screen name was a bit of a stretch, so I left him a series of naughty notes on his truck, each dropping a hint that would get me closer to getting in his pants. After three notes, an AIM conversation, a couple of rum and cokes and our first meeting at a house party, I ended up in his bed. It was great while it lasted...about 4 months."
WHAT'S THE MOST DEPRAVED THING YOU'VE EVER DONE TO GET REVENGE ON A GUY?
"So this is an ex-boyfriend, who at one point I was madly in love with. I'm a big fan of recycling, so two years later when we were both single, we started hooking up again. We were cyber sexing...uh, I mean video chatting and I took some screen grabs of him jerking it, just for kicks. Okay, that's a lie...I actually did it because at that point in time he was jerking ME around, telling me he was thinking of getting back together with his ex and he didn't know what he wanted. I told him that if he did, I would e-mail her the pics along with all the dirty e-mails he'd sent me over the past few months. That shut him up for a while, but then we had some really bad drunken sex, and I haven't heard from him since then. I guess when you blurt out, 'Can you come already?' and 'I'm as dry as sandpaper' it's a bit of a game killer. Oopsie."
You can read more of Elisabeth's depraved thoughts on her blog, Millons of Pretty People.
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