GG2D reader Jill tried out
Rule #1 at Eyecandy at the Mandalay Bay in Vegas, where she may have bit off a little more ass than she could manhandle.
"Me and my girls had just arrived in Vegas and we were looking for a little fun. The scene was kind of dull for a Thursday night, but there was one hot group of guys from New York. They were eye-fucking us all night, but were too scared to approach us, so we decided to spice things up by trying out your rule. Jack had the nicest butt of all his friends, so I walked up and asked if I could feel on it. Well, I've never seen a guy assume the strip-search position faster. Jack loved it... He ended up hanging out with us all night, long after his buddies left, buying us drink after drink after drink. At about 2am, we started to get a little tired of him (he was just so eager), so we decided to leave the bar in search of another challenge. But Jack straight up would not leave my side! We finally jumped in a cab and slammed the door shut before he could join us. I still can't get rid of the image of his sad puppy dog face as we drove away, but a little hair of the dog tonight should take care of that."
So it appears Rule #1 worked a little
too well, but remember, whenever you're faced with a stage five clinger, just keep one of my depraved excuses on hand:
1) "They say you shouldn't drink when you're pregnant, but I think that's total bullshit." (This one must be performed with drink in hand.)
2) "What are you doing tomorrow morning? I want to introduce you to my parents!"
And my personal favorite:
3) "I would totally fuck you but I just had an abortion this morning and I'm still bleeding like crazy!"
Do you have a tale of depravity? Send us an e-mail, pix, or even video and we may feature your tale on the blog!
If you're giving road head at 80 mph, swallow don't spit.
