The Girl's Guide to Depravity

Before you pull on your Frederick's of Hollywood crotchless panties and mix yourself a Xantini in preparation of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd take a minute to talk to you about what happens after your drunken V-Day hookup.

That's right, I'm talking STDs.

I'm the first person to tell you to fuck first and ask questions later (as long as you're being safe, of course) but before you jump into the sack with the DJ that you've been drooling over for months, ask yourself if his dick is worth contracting the herp.

I have a friend who was absolutely cocksessed with some cock she'd never even had. Despite noticing that Mr. VD had a series of cold sores that followed a series of hooker-ish girlfriends, my friend J. could not be dissuaded. After stalking him for a full year, one night, she finally found her opening and didn't hesitate to pounce. Girlfriend was straight up in love, she said. He was "the one." What's a little STD in the face of eternity?

Cut to two months later when J. caught him in the act of passing along his herpes to a stripper at Cheetahs (and not to the lips on her face.)

She's no longer with Mr. VD but she has a lifetime reminder of his love everytime she gets stressed out.