Monday, March 15, 2010

Rule #16: It May Be Marc Jacobs, But If It Doesn't Show Off Your Tits, It's Worthless

If It doensn't show off your tits, it's worthless.


Now I'm not suggesting you go out there and rock a ripped Ed Hardy mini-dress, Jesey Shore style, but if you're out on the prowl, don't dress for other women, dress to get laid.

Sure, that new Marc by Marc Jacobs top you just bought at Barney's is the envy of all those whiny bitches at the office, but if you think you can wear a high-necked button-up top out to the bars and get the attention of those dirty hot boys you can't resist, you just wasted a couple hundred bucks.

You don't even have to have big breastacles, men just can resist the sight of some bare boob skin.

For great slut-tops, check out BeBe, Single, BCBG and any other clothing company that makes shiny, cleaveage-baring tops that a Kardashian would wear. OR, just throw on a basic tank, as long as it shows some tittaes it's more valuable than your Lanvin flats!

Of course, you could just do what my friend L. used to do. She rarely had time to change out of her power suit after a day at the law firm, so if she spotted a guy at the bar whom she thought was cute, she'd just walk up to him and say "I'm not wearing panties." Worked like a charm everytime!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Snooki and Sharon Stone would def only approve of the outfit on the right...

Anonymous said...

Speaking as a male, the 'not wearing panties ' line would work for me every time !

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