I know all you depraved bitches are going "where the fuck else am I gonna meet a guy?" but guys in bars are only good for two things: free drinks and meaningless sex.
Back when I was a very young and naive slut, I met a guy one night at my favorite bar, Three Clubs. This was so long ago that people still smoked in bars, so after I used my favorite pick-up line -- "Gotta light?" -- we were pretty much inseparable for months.
This guy was like the Great White Buffalo, not only did he call me every day and plan amazing dates for us, but he gave me the most incredible orgasms without even wanting reciprocation!
So after a while of dating Mr. Wonderful, I broke my own rule -- I was starting to fall for him.
In fact, it was getting so serious that it was time to have "the talk". No, not that talk, the one where you agree you'll only fuck each other for the time being.
So after about five vodka tonics and a great dinner at El Cholo, he says he wants to talk to me about something. OMG, I thought, we're totes on the same page!
"I think we should stop seeing each other," he said.
Ummm, excuse me?
"Well, what did you expect?" he said. "We met at a bar."
Ouch.
5 comments:
ouch!
asshole...
Right?
You make it sound like free drinks and meaningless sex are a bad thing. :)
Wait, so why is he an asshole for deciding he didn't want to date you?
as a general rule of thumb I would say that bars are a terrible place to meet good men...
until your future husband walks up and unleashes the corniest pick up line you've ever heard and you end up spending the whole night laughing together!
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