Friday, June 17, 2011

Rule #39: If A Guy Is Wearing Girl Jeans - Run

Picture 5


I may spend $200 bucks on denim that makes a guy think of nothing but getting in my back door when he sees how great they make my ass look, but there are only three explanations for a man wearing designer denim:

1. He's gay.

2. He's Persian/Russian/Italian/Armenian (insert your ethnic stereotype here).

3. He's bad in bed.

I once went out with a guy who was wearing the trifecta of over-compensation: True Religion Jeans, Uggs and diamond studs in his ears.

I should have known better but I was horny, he was otherwise hot and my vibe was on the fritz. So I fucked him.

Correction -- I sat on top of him for two pumps before he showed me an O-face uglier than the one your dog makes when he's taking a shit.

And I'm not the only one who's gotten fucked when she wanted to get screwed by a guy in designer denim. My friend T is particularly adept at attracting guys who sport girl-butt and it never works out for her. Usually all they want from her is a bj (she's got amazing cock-sucking lips) but when she insists on doing the do, she either gets a guy with a tiny peen, a two-pump chump, or someone who can't get off without a finger or a fist up his ass.

4 comments:

  1. No wthis isnt true... I dated a guy who wore womens drainpipe jeans as he loved showing off his legs without going in shorts!

    And he had a 10inch, was great in bed and was english.. oh, and he had lost most of his front teeth from a fight over 15 yrs previous so once he took them out with lights out he made my mind blow!!! Oh wow i tell you if a guy fancies munching on you.. it is nothing with lips or gentle teething! LOL
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  2. hahahaha...no, this is definitely true. a real man doesn't need to wear designer denim. he just...is
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  3. @BabyG1985: i'm not talking about emo/rocker skinny jeans, but the $250 true religions with the bedazzled pocket.

    @Colleen: word.
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  4. Ha! If a dude isn't wearing Levi's...He's probably gay...or Polish.
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