Monday, May 10, 2010

Rule #22: When it Comes to Guys, Always Go for Dicks Over Pussies

6 comments
dicksoverpussies

There are pretty much just two types of guys in the world:

Dicks and Pussies.

Dicks are those dirty hot guys who never call after fucking you, text another girl while they're out with you, and after you hadn't heard from them for two whole months, ask to borrow $500 (which you happily oblige, only for the chance to have a deja fuck.)

A Pussy calls you every night at the same time, asks your permission before kissing you and refuses to let you pay for dinner.

But I've said it before and I'll say it again -- ALL men cheat, even the nice, ugly ones.  You're gonna get fucked over no matter what, so might as well get fucked by the big Dick while you can!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Contest

4 comments
butterfly_merkin


My friend Niki and I just got vajazzled and during post-cooter-glitter cocktails, we decided we'd make a wager to see who could last the longest without losing a crystal (i.e. having sex) much like the Seinfeld masturbation contest.

My hornier than thou boyfriend is coming over in an hour.  What do you want to bet I'm the first one out?

UPDATE: Niki, I owe you $100.