The Girl's Guide to Depravity

Sometimes you get caught with your pants down and no ass lube in sight.  Luckily, you only have to look as far as your shower for some emergency lube: hair conditioner.

My friend B was in a similar bind one late night and used this with great success.  Course, her butthole smelled like calming vanilla and ylang ylang for days afterward, but at least it had the sheen and vibrancy of a much less damaged ass.