Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Rule #31: It's Not a Date Unless Something Gets Wet

blowjobgirl


Dating rituals are so confused these days that my girlfriends are seeming to have a terrible time deciphering whether or not the dinner/coffee/S&M/whatever thing they just went out on would even constitute a date!

Last night, my gilfriend Niki called me after one such "thing": "I went out with this great guy, we had great conversation, he paid -- was it a date?"

And my answering process generally goes something like this:

Did you fuck him? "No."

Did you get finger banged? "No."

Blow him? "No."

Kiss him, even? "No."

Then it's not a date!

I could go out with my best gay and have the time of my life consuming all the fish tacos and double margaritas he can afford at Fiesta Cantina, but since he's not going to be high-fiving my tongue with his penis at the end of the night, it's not a date. (Ok, there was that one time his dick found his way into my mouth after a bottle of absinthe and a couple Fubar go-go boys, but that's a different story.)

IF you like the guy AND he's taking you to dinner AND he's paying, the least you could do would be to drop to your knees and show him a little appreciation! I guarantee you he won't say no, and at least you'll then be certain -- It was a date!

2 comments:

LaurelinSki said...

I love that you go to all the same boy bars as me and my gays. =P lulz.

The Cuntessa said...

Perhaps we've ogled one of the allegedly straight go-go boys at Fubar together?

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