I'm the first bitch to tell you to fuck first and ask questions later (as long as you're safe), but hooking up with those hard-to-resist D-bags has its consequences.
Like gonorrhea.
I knew the sweetest girl (we'll call her D) who was practically a virgin when she moved to LA. Her first month here, she met this creamy guy at a dive bar. He was like Colin Farrell but with a Southern accent (hot, right?) so how could she resist? Well, they went home but she WAS able to resist -- the dick, but not the mouth! After he left, she texted me later, "Best. Oral. Ever."
Well, the next week she texted me: "He. Fucking. Gave. Me. Gonorrhea!"
After a trip to the doctor and dropping $$$ on antibiotics, she was wishing his dirty hot mouth had never touched her vag!
So girls, the next time you're drunk, horny and desperate, consider going home with that geek who's been buying you drinks instead of the poor musician who's been eye-fucking you from the corner all night.
(Thanks to Special K for this rule, whose dirty mouth first spoke these words.)
5 comments:
hmmm-cute, but do you know the odds of getting the big G oral from ?? especially a female receiving?? almost nonexistent. So I think yer depraved gal may be a tad more depraved than the sweetest gal ever!
Dr. Douchebag
Let me translate: She probably f*cked him, his band, the band's dog and then told everyone she got Gonorrhea from oral!
I feel sorry for the dog.
Why do women consistently give it up to D-bags and then whine and complain about the consequences? Even worse is when they find themselves a bit older, unmarried, and wanting to have kids, so they suddenly decide that those nice guys they always dismissed are now worthy.
Seems a bit unfair to me.
Confused...
WHO CARES?
Only care about YOUR penis and how to next get it wet.
Life is a long road of suffering...get all the snapper you can
I couldn't agree with you more. I used to be the "nice guy". That's why I date younger now. No need to settle for d-bag leftovers when you can be the D-BAG that's getting the snapper. I didn't understand this concept until a few years ago. Some guys just have it naturally. Others have to learn the hard way.
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